"There is no way to stop his penetration...when he switches his gears like that."

context: bball commentor. cornell vs. penn

"This is way too hot to taste good, but I want to put it in my mouth"

Context: Fresh pretzels

"Measures 6" long. Batteries not included."

Context: http://secure.giantrobot.com/products.php?code=SNOOPVIBHOUSEG

Yes, that's right, I can ruin Peanuts

"This is where you drill the hole."

Context: http://www.instructables.com/id/How-To-Make-A-Lego-Block-Keychain/step2/Placing-of-The-Drill-Hole/

"Bendable and lots of fun wherever fun is needed!"

Context: Action figures

"I really can put this all inside, it is very surprising!"

Context: Whole pan of food, one tupperware box

Roommate 1: "Is it tight?"
Roommate 2: "It's tight at the beginning, but you get used to it and it turns into a nice, comfortable squeeze."

Context: Accelerator pedal of my roommate's (#2, the CarrieLinLin) new car.

Also, at the house, I have a "No TWSS" policy because my roommates are fobs...and they give me material to use like literally every 30 seconds. But this one was too tempting not to use.

Aaaand, I'm corrupting them. One of them asked me "what's so funny" after she said a TWSS when we were at a bar with friends and the other said "IIIII KNOW!"